If your generalissimo were on The View being interviewed by Barbara Walters, and she asked the inevitable question "If your soldiers were trees, what kind of trees would they be?", the answer would be simple. Wait, which trees swallow the most cum? Nevermind.
But if she asked me what you are passionate about, I would say making snarky comments about politics on websites that think too highly of themselves. And thus I am here for you.
Introducing my new feature Wonkette Shorts. Each day I will steal over to Wonkette and summarize a few of the posts in my own breezy style, thus allowing you to comment away here in the fashion we have all come to know and love without feeding the Gawker overlords.
Note, I will not be plagiarizing anything, as that is wrong and stuff. I will not be clicking "more" on any articles, so I will try to just get the gist of them (and if I not, I'll just make some shit up!). And I will not be summarizing any of Jim Newell's posts, because the poor boy is a victim in this too and I know some of you are supporting him (which I am fine with). So, with that said, welcome to the FIRST! EVER! EDITION! of Wonkette Shorts:
- Did you know we are less than one year from the end of the Bush presidency? Of course, if any president could cause nuclear winter just by welcoming children to the White House easter egg hunt, it would be him.
- Fred Thompson is a redneck hick loser, and maybe dropped out of the next debate. UPDATE - he be gone!
- The bad US economy resulted in billions of lost fake money around the word and millions of people of all shades of skin throwing themselves off buildings screaming "Fuck you George Bush" in lots of funny sounding languages!
- Drudge has a hard on for some game where you can shoot the presidential candidates with virtual paintballs. Now that he has found it, Layne probably isn't going to post the rest of the day. Presidential Paintball