Many of you don't know this, but I often start my morning lying in bed typing away on my laptop. It was sooooooo sweet you guys, my boyfriend totally took this picture of me this morning as I was planning for a full day at HFA HQ. I know what you're thinking - "Generalissmo Homofascist, isn't it difficult to type like that for a long time?" And the answer is yes, but the workout is pretty good. Before I started it I had a beer gut, but now my six pack is coming along nicely.
After I made the crack yesterday about Layne not posting anything more on Wonkette after he found that stupid "shoot the presidential candidates with paint guns" game on Drudge, he actually didn't post anything more. So today's Shorts is my attempt to look at political news and be...wonky? Just write short flippant sentences and do links? Whatever, I tried okay. For YOU.
Now for your snarking pleasure, and to help you make it through the day NOT GOING OVER TO WONKETTE AT ALL, NOT EVEN TO PEEK, NO NO NO, is the latest edition of Wonkette Shorts. Take a whiff.
- Obama's speech writer is young. And fucking hot! Can he take dictation?
- Two non-profit journalism organizations just released a report that and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks. Just like the fucking left wing Commie liberals to say what 80% of Americans know is true.
- He's number 4! He's number 4! But at least he is being nice.
- McCain is raising money and getting endorsements in NYC. Don't be surprised when his body is found floating in the East River with Rudy G's panty hose tied around his neck.
- Illinois doesn't get much Wonkette love, but did you know our governor is not only a fucking retard and crook, but also has the worst hair in politics? When he finally goes to prison, I have a feeling the by then prison-hardened George Ryan will make Blago the Jack to his Ennis, if you catch my drift. And I think you do (RIP Heath).
- Crappy Hour on Jezebel is live. I recommend paying a visit - it is going to be good, and could use a major snark infusion.