Thursday, January 24, 2008

DEBATE OR SOMETHING?

Hey kids, I think there is some kind of Republican debate where they will all lie and talk about Jesus and not mention how they are fucking some of their staffers. If you would like a clean thread, here you go. I can't tolerate such nonsense.

48 comments:

Raging Monk said...

Thanks, General, for a clean thread.

Romney is going all Bush on the war, and gets nasty: Gen. Hillary Clinton. Laugh now, Mittens

McCain: The problem was not the invasion of Iraq. It was mishandled. I am one evasive and sleazy maverick.

Raging Monk said...

Ron Paul takes his best shot: Iraq was a bad idea, we started the war and never should start one.

Huckabee is fucking stupid. WMDs were there, we just didn't find them. Be proud of Bush. Wipe your ass, Mike. You just shit yourself.

Raging Monk said...

Brian Williams' purple tie? OK?

Commercial break. Raging Monk slips a little Jameson into a nice, iced glass.

whatsername said...

Huckabee on not finding WMD:

"Just because you don't find every Easter Egg doesn't mean it wasn't planted."

So THAT'S how we f'd up! Looking for Easter Eggs in an Islamic dictatorship.

Silly Wabbit.

Agent Sparks said...

I can hear it in the background while I'm downloading porn and drinking. It sounds pretty boring so far....

I heard Huckabee say we should build more roads to stimulate the economy. You know, that way when we all become homeless nomads we'll have plenty of room to walk our broke asses up and down the nice new road. Thanks President Huckabee!

Raging Monk said...

They won't say it, so I will.

BUSH! BUSH! BUSH! BUSH! BUSH! BUSH!

These are old white guys living in a fantasy world in which they are relevant.

Raging Monk said...

Rudy loves him some Chinese, but says to wear protection when boinking them.

Rudy blames Bill Clinton! We've never build back the Army that Bill let go down. Moran! Your President just spent six years pissing it all away to secure oil supplies! So tired of hearing Bill Clinton is responsible for every dog doody in the street.

Agent Sparks said...

Walnuts to Huckabee: Why is your flat tax idea so stupid?

Raging Monk said...

Huckabee wants a non-progressive tax. What rhetoric! Talk for the common man, but 15% of a rich man's money hurts him a lot less than 15% of a poor man. Death to all economists who want to put the burden of taxation on the middle class. "Fair Tax," my skinny white ass.

Raging Monk said...

Walnuts really is senile, isn't he? Like a babbling brook in the midst of springtime, he remembers all the Republican voodoo economic snake oil salesman from the '80s and '90s.

Huckabee and Romney need to take their 2nd Amendment feud outside. Bazookas at twenty feet.

If the 2nd Amendment is absolute and unconditional for Republicans, why isn't the 1st Amendment as well?

freedumb said...

Make up your mind Romney, do you think assault weapons shouldn't be regulated, or do you HATE THE CONSTITUTION?

Agent Sparks said...

I wonder if poor Mittens is sad about that article that said everybody hated him :(

Raging Monk said...

Rudy: Global warning? What? Where? Let's build more nukes.

Walnuts: Look. I want more nukes too. American technology can whup the greenhouse gases' ass.

Thank God, another commercial break. Time to practice trickle-down again.

freedumb said...

9ui11iani: We can't fall behind China and India in greenhouse gap emissions. Mr. President, we must not allow a global warming gap.

freedumb said...

@Freedumb
greenhouse gas. I miss my preview pane. No way I'm clicking an extra button just to check spelling.

Raging Monk said...

Rudy: Yes, I'm a loser. We're going to win win win now in Florida, though.

Walnuts: Mom's right, I stink, and haven't changed my Depends since Christmas.

Walnuts: Radical Islamic Extremism: Coming to a location near you. Walnuts gives obligatory rimjob to Israel. Lies about putting country before party "everytime."

freedumb said...

Romney said Reagan, drink!

Agent Sparks said...

OMFG, I can't believe Mitt Romney just said he's not concerned about the voters!

Raging Monk said...

Mittens: Lies about Demo universal health care plans. Can't wait to run against "the Clintons." Careful, underwear man, what you wish for. You might well get it.

Raging Monk said...

Uncle Paul gets honest with Teh Crazy: Abolish Social Security. It was a bad idea to begin with. Yeah, Uncle. Not all your aunts and uncles got to be doctors like you.

Raging Monk said...

Mittens: I'm Reagan! I'm Reagan! But I won't fix Social Security by raising taxes like Saint Ronald Reagan did.

Why do I always feel like Mittens is trying to sell me some sleazy collateral mortgage obligations?

Agent Sparks said...

@ Raging Monk - Maybe because his hair is so shiny?

Raging Monk said...

Uh, Rudy, there is no such thing as a "tamper-proof" ID card. Although one of your companies might make money by selling them to the Department of Homeland Security. Rudy knows where the money is.

Raging Monk said...

While Rudy was talking about Castro, Huckabee's facial expression was saying, "Castro? Castro? Where have I heard that name before?"

Raging Monk said...

@Agent Sparks: Good point. Shiny = slick.

Raging Monk said...

Rudy: Fuck the New York Times.

Mittens: Fuck everybody who criticizes me. Fuck the gays, too. Fuck the pro-choicers. Watch me lie. I'm an extremely good liar.

Walnuts: Mom says I have a temper? Not a problem. I have so many friends and supporters. I like Guiliani in the bedroom, too.

freedumb said...

Whoa, look at Rudy's face when McCain says "9/11". He is pissed to have someone squatting on his territory.

Raging Monk said...

And the Paultards go wild!

Oh, no, they're going to replay the debate at midnight! Why does NBC hate America so much?

freedumb said...

Who let the Paultards into the audience?

Raging Monk said...

Dead Secretary Joe Scarborough: Mmmm Mitt! Best Mitt ever!

Andrea Greenspan: Mmmm Walnuts! Reassuring to true Republicans!

Tweety Head: Babbling about Reagan and Tweety's Dad. But he's having fun.

congcat said...

Fuckabee said Iraq's WMD's may have gone to Jordan. Even my 5 year old said: "Whadda fucked he just say?"
Bunch a nimrod's.
Hillbot's got them feeling all warm and fuzzy though. All unified and chomping at the bit to hit that.

DC1974 said...

It's moments like these that I'm glad I don't watch the TV. (Can you believe? I don't have cable.) Still I can throw things at it, right?

mw (DWSUWF) said...

Mittens is the nominee. He has a slick Clintonesque sincere-ish quality, even when explaining 180 degree flip-flops in core convictions. That will continue to serve him well in pursuit of the nomination. It is clear that, if by some fluke he also won the nomination he will govern based on the polls and continuous compromise. Hey, it might happen. What if those picture of Hill giving Barry a blowjob surface as an October surprise? Mitt in charge may not necessarily be a bad thing, since there will still be a Democratic majority in Congress in 2009 and 70% of America wanting us out of Iraq. He can be trusted to blow with wind. Probably makes him the least bad Republican. Except for Doctor Ron, of course - but - *sigh* a;as, he cannot win. It's all so fucking depressing. And I am out of whiskey. Costco tomorrow. I'll pick up a case of half gallon JW Red Label. Anybody else need anything?

donzacatl said...

So, SO glad I didn't make it home from the symphony to see this apparent train wreck of idiots (the candidates, not you, my fellow HFA soldiers!) Oddly enough, the symphony was playing Shostakovich's 9th Symphony, a great instrumental indictment of war.

nojo said...

@donzacatl: I would have preferred Rite of Spring, but that's just a matter of taste.

mw (DWSUWF) said...

so... when do we move to the new blog Generalissimo?

nojo said...

Speaking of new blogs...

The Cynics' Party

That would be Megan, Greg, and a couple other friendly faces. Perhaps we should throw some love and hate-fucks over there before getting all diasporated.

nojo said...

@mw (dwsuwf): Great minds think alike, even if the latter insufficiently inspects the former...

mw (DWSUWF) said...

"even if the latter insufficiently inspects the former..."- n

Thank God for small favors.

I think it was a contest. Got you by 15 minutes. Probably because you typed a longer comment.

So what did I win?

mw (DWSUWF) said...

tht would be 5 minutes.

nojo said...

@mw (dwsuwf): You beat me fair, on speed and content -- I came across the link at Megan's blog, and I was so excited at the prospect I was afraid Commandante HF was going to announce yet another option...

Oh, and, um...

We're still talking about the debate. Don't want to spoil any surprises. Shhhhh!

Homofascist said...

I obviously have no idea what you are referring to and refuse to comment on any wild speculation. Answers, and lots of bitchy, bitchy comments, will be given tomorrow.

mw (DWSUWF) said...

"I obviously have no idea what you are referring to..."

Let this be a lesson to all. Do not fuck with paranoid Paultards. We see all the patterns. Some of them are real.

nojo said...

@mw (dwsuwf): Plausible deniability my ass.

rickushay said...

Oh Christ, how about - instead of a national ID - we have a national USERID....

I've had to register on 13 different fucking sites in the last 4 days just to follow everyone's links.

I haven't had my morning coffee yet. Ugh.

rickushay said...

oh, btw:

yesterday's most popular stories on w'ette were all Jim Newell creations.

*thumbs up*

SpangledAngel said...

9udy: "Greenhouth gath emithhhhons."

Nabisco said...

Good morning campers!

I slept like a friggin baby last night, although I honestly woke up after a dream that someone had left a threadbomb open so that all of our comments were hyperlinked to that youtube video of the squirrel on waterskis.

I think I'm ready for a cynics party. Anyone?