Saturday, January 26, 2008
LIFE ON THE OTHER SIDE
Wow. I had no idea what revealing my identity would do in just one night. The paparazzi. Getting into all of those exclusive Chicago nightclubs* without even needing to blow the bouncer (you know I offered!). And of course all of the drugs. This life of celebrity is going to be great. Just promise that when you find me unresponsive you'll call 911 first and not Mary Kate. I'm going to let you in on a little secret - she can't help.
The one downside to this life of celebrity is this really strange guy pacing in front of my apartment all night, frothing about the mouth and mumbling "oh sure, no one cares when I get fired." Not sure who he was, but I am very glad I have enlisted the protection of Miss Expatria's Gay Roman Mafia.
For those who haven't been following the comment threads, the adorable Taber put a link to the fucking funniest thing I have read in a while. Find it here. It is spot on really. I want to add the link but the name is so damn long. At least it has Cynic's Party on the Demon Alert list, as it should be. Speaking of which, if you don't like the name and the apostrophe, don't fucking complain to me cuz I just work there. I am already getting all of these emails from Megan saying that I am not doing my part to drive up pageviews and that they will start taking money OUT of my bank accounts (I knew I shouldn't have given them access) and that Greg is VERY upset with my lack of attention to The Mission. So I guess I need to get to work.
But before that, Oprah called and wants to have a spa day! It should be fun, although talking to her all day is kind of rough. That bitch has problems.
*may not exist.