Saturday, January 19, 2008

GOOD MORNING, LADIES & GENTLEMEN

Boys and motherfucking girls.

So this is one of those blogspots everyone has been talking about. I am sorry everyone, but I don't know much about the internets, or the linking, or the MySpaces (that is where you go to have sex with 11 year olds, right?). I know a decent amount about about tubes, but we won't go there just yet.

I am home. I am listening to early/mid 90s Prince as you can tell from my greeting. I have my cocktail, because Homofascist's Army fights no wars where there aren't beverages. And I am fucking pissed.

Today are beloved Megan Carpentier, aka Anonymous Lobbyist, aka waterboarding expert, was fired from Wonkette. And judging by the comments on her farewell, and the dozens of emails I have gotten, there are a lot of people out there who are pissed. Megan brought a lot to Wonkette that many of us enjoyed. Humor. Insight into the machinations of DC, and thus reasons why we should move to Canada. And of course some beefcake for these long cold Chicago nights.

Some backstory: Wonkette is the thing that gets me through the week. I have enjoyed getting to know and respect the hell out of many of you, your humor and insight (except TheFrontPage - god that guy seems like a douchebag) and I, like many whom I have heard from, felt that with Megan it was starting to hit its stride again. Because after the dark days of John Clarke Jr., who couldn't find funny if it were in his ass and he had two hands, a map and a flashlight dildo, some of us were worried. Time to worry again.

So I am starting this blog where we can get together and talk. I have been toying around with starting one anyway. I really thought it was going to be about tennis, and the male tennis players I want to fuck (Safin, Djokovic, Blake, Guillermo Garcia-Lopez, et al). I even had a name - Fuzzy Balls! But alas.

I have gotten some useful suggestions about how we can help Megan, protest her dismissal, and hopefully keep her in the Gawker family. So bear with me. I can ramble. I don't always write real good. But in the next week I think we need to go through the stages of grief together. I think we need to try to help Megan, because while this is fun for us, it is her fucking job and girlfriend has a mortgage to pay. And we need to let Nick Denton and Ken Layne know that we are unhappy fags and friends.

9 comments:

nojo said...

First!

Er...

Congratulations on your quick action. It being late, I don't have a clever shorthand term for us, but I'm sure someone will tard us up quickly enough.

Chicago Bureau (ON STRIKE) said...

In doing some insomniac research, this is clearly not limited to Wonkette. Nick Denton has fucking blown up the Gawker mothership itself.

For example: post in early January regarding gross-out stuff, located at http://gawker.com/340901/descriptions-of-goatse-2-girls-1-cup-and-other-gross+outs-that-hopefully-youll-never-watch -- which followed a culling of major staff. The comments on this particular post are vicious. All of this has been document in the NYT (hattip to whoever posted this in the farewell post).

After this, I don't even know why Megan would want to even consider going back to Jezebel. Nick Denton has become... unsound.

But anyway: welcome to the blogosphere proper, homofascist. Please try not to freeze -- I will do likewise.

baked said...

baked (on strike). i just read all the comments sending megan our love and outrage. and wassertrom too? he was 2nd best, after megan. hmm...the 2 best writers canned. i will be checking back there and clicky clicking on megans and greg's posts, exclusively. someone over there is, either really stupid, jealous, or wonkette is taking a turn i won't be following. my strike will go past wednesday..to make an impact, i think we need a longer strike, might not make a difference, but i'll do my part. no comments whatsoever and no clicking on anyone except megan and greg.
HF, i'm with you all the way, i have enlisted with you and await your orders.
baked.

SanFranLefty said...

Chicago Bureau,

Can you explain how the hell the Gawker company works? Because it seems that Wonkette generally doesn't have ads on it, instead it's the art. (Not that I miss the stupid snorg girl or the snake from the Californication and Weeds ads). So how are they making their money (if they are?). Is it from Denton's posts of Tom Cruise mania and the Jezebel posts on Brit-Brit's crazy?

thx
SFLefty (on Strike)

chicago bureau (on strike) said...

SFL: I haven't the foggiest. I mean, given what I've seen, there are virtually no ads on Gawker Media -- it is all self-referential crap.

Yes: we joked about having been totally dominated by The Starter Wife. And of course Snorg Girl. But it seems that Gawker's entire bidness plan is premised on page views.

nojo said...

SFL: Gawker Media is an ad-supported publishing company, with a financial model similar to free weeklies. (In other words, no paid subscriptions.)

With some exceptions, most ads are bought for a given number of "impressions", or pageviews. If, say, you buy a thousand pageviews, your ad stops running once your quota is filled.

There's not always enough paid stock to fill the ad holes on some blogs, and that's when we see "house ads" -- in this case, Gawker Artists. It doesn't bode well for the financial health of a given blog when too many of those start showing up.

Wonkette has never been one of Gawker's high-traffic blogs (compared to Gizmodo, Fleshbot, Deadspin, and perhaps now Jezebel), so it surprised me when Denton started staffing it up -- the double-team after Ana, and bringing Ken back as a third non-intern regular.

But so far, shitcanning Megan has not been presented as a financial necessity, and doing so less than three weeks after Ken's return is eyebrow-raising.

There's yet another irony here, but I'll save it for a separate enovel.

nojo said...

SFL: So here's the deal -- Denton wants to go legit.

Denton personally is legit -- he was a journalist for the Financial Times (or The Economist?), and his fortune came from a book he wrote. But Gawker Media was founded as anything but a traditional news organization, and folks had been attempting to revive the spirit of Spy for years.

About a year ago, Denton fired an entertaining snarky lad at Valleywag -- and installed himself as interim editor. He wanted Valleywag to be more "serious", and he later hired someone with journalist cred to run the show. It is, as a result, far less interesting.

The New Year's Massacre at Gawker Mothership seemed to be following the same script. Denton wants to "break news", not just comment upon it, although his need to pander for pageviews makes it highly schizophrenic.

Arriving finally back at Wonkette, we have Ken, who's both entertaining and intelligent (even if I now want to toss a whisky in his face), and until yesterday we had Megan -- entertaining, intelligent, and informed. Girlfriend knows her shit, which is one of the things I really appreciate about her.

(Pause here for the requisite "two of her things" comeback.)

So the irony is that Megan would seem just the kind of writer Denton wants on staff. Which is why I'm very confused, and more than a wee bit angry.

baked said...

"reviving the spirit of SPY"
right now i have the exact same feeling i had as a child, when the folks thought tearing them up was a good idea to remove the smirk off me. wonkette (w/megan) is the closest thing i've encountered to the beloved spy in decades.
listen, denton, even murdoch, who i assume must be your idol, even he reversed his decision to publish 'if i did it' due to public pressure.
so are you a bigger asshole than him, or what?
BAKED (ON STRIKE)

Anonymous said...

Gawker sucks moosecock!

Gawker must go down!

Die, Gawker, Die!