Wednesday, January 23, 2008

WE WANT YOU



Attention soldiers. We have gotten a lot more recruits on the boards today. If you have not yet sent me an email to sign up for duty, please drop me a line at homofascist1 at gmail.com.

Because trust me, you don't want to miss basic training.

42 comments:

chicago bureau said...

"What kind of training have you been doing?"

"Arrrrrrrmy training, sir! [Army training, sir!]"

Hotsauce said...

CB - let's just hope our training officer doesn't get "bblooowwwwn up, sir!"

rptrcub said...

Hooah for teh equal opportunity sexiness. Is this OK breeder boys?

Hotsauce said...

btw, here's my small contribution to the war effort. Now that W***ette’s off-limits, I actually have time to blog on my own again. What’s my alternative, actually do some work? Please!

Also for the war effort, I’ve started collecting scrap metal, nylon stockings and chocolate bars. Not sure why, though. Nabisco’s got the snacks covered, and 9ud11 has the nylon market all tied up. So now what do I do with all these old rusted BBQ pits?

Cpt. Hotsauce
Straight Staff Liaison
Texas Outpost

Raging Monk said...

Maybe she's Israeli? Mmmm. Best looking Meals-Ready-to-Eat in any man's army are in the Homofascist's Army.

Lyndon LaDouche said...

So we're not going with kilts? Whatever.

Dear Homo Leader, I'm like totally WTF. The latest edition of New York Review of Books arrived this morning (Yes I subscribe but I only read it for the articles) and it's like totes Wonkette!!!11! They even print the masthead with that encephalitic chick. And it tells you all about how it's a blog and how to do blogging on blogs and is totally fun and cute. It tells about links and comments (YAY!!!) And I'm like OMG!!!

It was written before the Great Schism so there's nothing about our commander (Sir, yes, SIR!!) leading us out of the wilderness or the banding together of the HFA. Still. At least now you know that elderly professors everywhere will be down on the blogging and not just the one-handed typing while they cruise AOL chat rooms pretending they've got so many muscles they can hardly stand up. So I'm told.

Now if I could only figure out a way to make my avatar show up here I would be one happy grunt.

Homofascist said...

@rptrcub Don't get them too excited. Do you know how many photos of plastic looking fake blonde slutbags I had to look through before finding this one?

hotsauce said...

rptrcub, as mentioned in an earlier post, breeders are very resilient. At the very least there's always women's tennis to tide us over.

But to answer your question, yes, me likey. Thanks HF!

ManchuCandidate (on Strike) said...

@Homofascist,

There are no other kinds of female pics on the intertubes than "plastic looking fake blonde slutbags" (which I like looking at from time to time.)

Crappy Hour helped, but I'll go batshit insane if I have to start commenting about gossip rags at Jez.

Will see you guys on the dark side (wonkette) tomorrow.

Raging Monk said...

@rptrcub: Breeders appreciate anything we can get, son. This is definitely OK.

@homofascist:Thanks for the inclusivity, General. What kind of damage has been done at Wonkette today?

rptrcub said...

@ManchuCandidate: After all, the Internets is for porn.

LoLoAGoGo said...

Yes... an update would be useful since I have, like a good soldier, been sticking to the boycott.

nojo said...

@lyndon: Haven't checked my mailbox yet, but I'm usually on the tail end of magazine distribution.

If what you say is true, I'm totally looking forward to the next issue: "Homofascist's Army: An Exchange".

Nabisco said...

@homofascist: Do you know how many photos of plastic looking fake blonde slutbags I had to look through before finding this one?

Comandante, you really need to learn to delegate. Sir.

TechLackey said...

Google's predictive search results, the true measure of the collective consciousness, now lists "homofascist army" as a result when you start typing it, right after "homofactus press" and "homofag".

rickushay said...

Ahh, thinkin' of the Breeder Brigade. Can't thank ya enough there cap'n.

Now excuse me for a few minutes....I have some....uh....business to attend to with the plastic slutbag.

Homofascist said...

@tech lackey
Homofag is SO a new brigade name.

Electoral College Dropout said...

@rickushay: Damn right soldier, you breeders are lucky to be in this army, what with how you bring down morale, and unit cohesion, and make the uniforms look baggy.

@nojo: Always expect distribution in the tail in this army soldier.

Major Electoral College Dropout
Enthusiastic Top Division
HFA

Homofascist said...

And can I just say, it feels awesome to have my avatar back!

Megan said...

But, gentlemen, let us make sure that the emphasis is on the "plastic looking fake" and not on the "blonde slutbag." Because, you know...

nojo said...

HFA PACIFIC FLEET ALERT! Mrs. K will be appearing in Sandy Eggo without Dennis Thursday night! Whatever your persuasion, political or otherwise, this is an event not to be missed!

(Information courtesy of the only barista in town wearing a K for Prez button.)

rptrcub said...

Oh, Megs, you're much more classy.

nojo said...

@homofascist: I see what you mean...

jamie sommers said...

@chicago bureau: I love a man who quotes Bill Murray movies.

Fresh Clichès said...

@electoral college dropout: Nothing baggy in these khakis, thanks to the General's inclusion of Miss Hottie McBullets.

And if there are issues with < ahem > "unit cohesion" here, I'd have thought EVERYONE here would have received their KY-rations by now.

@jamie sommers: How about those of us who look like Bill?

rptrcub said...

@Fresh Clichès: Oh lord no... this war is sponsored by I.D., Wet and Eros.

Homofascist said...

KY rations? What in the hell are you talking about? While you might not all be gay, this is a gay army and we only use good lube. It is Wet Platinum at the minimum, Eros for officers. But there is a whole assortment at the PX to choose from.

Homofascist said...

@rptrcub - You're getting an extra ration tonight...

freedumb said...

@Megan

I wholeheartedly agree, us blond slutbags need to stick up for eachother, regardless of gender.

Chicago said...

Wait a sec -- scanners are go...

Chicago Bureau said...

Fixed! (Sorta.)

latenightmoneyshots said...

with regards to the beefy soldier on this post...

allowing homos in this army is a given, but allowing Czech pornstars??? this is 'merica, people

rickushay said...

@megan: she was blonde?

rickushay said...

@megan:

I actually looked. She's brunette.

BeachyGirl said...

@ megan
@ freedumb

Yes, yes, us blond hags must stick together!!

IanJ said...

This lowly non-homo soldier, for one, appreciates your effort, Herr Commandante. Extra appreciated is that you skipped the plastic-looking fake ones. Dear god, less plastic, more real, please! (Generally speaking, I mean, not about your contribution.)

Fresh Clichès said...

@homofascist @rptrcub: Wow, boot camp is tough!

I guess puns are grounds for a dishonorable discharge.

Oops....

PFC Clichès,
Reporting to KP because of KY,
HFA

Homofascist said...

Trust me Fresh Cliches, you'll thank us later for showing you the light.

rptrcub said...

@Homofascist: Thank you, sir, please send him to my tent.

@Fresh Cliches: Just remember soldier: KY is good only for medical procedures.

What's really awesome as that they sell Wet in Wal-Mart now. That fucks with my mind.

David P said...

General H: if in doubt about what photo to use to inflame straight male interest, pics of female beach volleyball players are always tasteful.

louisev said...

@david p: we could put Extreme Volleyball on a shared server... just a thought.

And U.S.F. Louise checking in from the Pacific, where they just had to make me work all damn day and I'm still babysitting weepy faghags and gayboys hanging on ever latest TMZ bulletin about whether there was narcotic residue on one of the $20 bills left in Heath's apartment.

Man this fag hag brigade is pulling too many shifts of late.

Fag-Hag Brigade Pacific 'Rim'
reporting from the trenches

rickushay said...

This is for the breeders out there (technically, anyone who likes hot women). More lovely ladies can be found here:

http://rangerup.com/giofraup.html

You're welcome.