Saturday, January 26, 2008

LIFE ON THE OTHER SIDE


Wow. I had no idea what revealing my identity would do in just one night. The paparazzi. Getting into all of those exclusive Chicago nightclubs* without even needing to blow the bouncer (you know I offered!). And of course all of the drugs. This life of celebrity is going to be great. Just promise that when you find me unresponsive you'll call 911 first and not Mary Kate. I'm going to let you in on a little secret - she can't help.

The one downside to this life of celebrity is this really strange guy pacing in front of my apartment all night, frothing about the mouth and mumbling "oh sure, no one cares when I get fired." Not sure who he was, but I am very glad I have enlisted the protection of Miss Expatria's Gay Roman Mafia.

For those who haven't been following the comment threads, the adorable Taber put a link to the fucking funniest thing I have read in a while. Find it here. It is spot on really. I want to add the link but the name is so damn long. At least it has Cynic's Party on the Demon Alert list, as it should be. Speaking of which, if you don't like the name and the apostrophe, don't fucking complain to me cuz I just work there. I am already getting all of these emails from Megan saying that I am not doing my part to drive up pageviews and that they will start taking money OUT of my bank accounts (I knew I shouldn't have given them access) and that Greg is VERY upset with my lack of attention to The Mission. So I guess I need to get to work.

But before that, Oprah called and wants to have a spa day! It should be fun, although talking to her all day is kind of rough. That bitch has problems.

*may not exist.

18 comments:

Shannon Sparks said...

Yes, the Rev. Hipple is pure genius!

I stumbled on him awhile back when he said Ron Paul
was going to buy Manitoba from Canada and start his own country.

Plus, he has a tag named "Ron Paul the Hologram" which is like the best thing ever if you ask me.

freedumb said...

So if Megan fires you because you're not consistent with her vision for the blog, which side do we take?

Homofascist said...

@Let's just say that I hope The Freedumb Brigade will take up my cause.

nojo said...

@freedumb: I'm sure the People's Front of Judea or the Judean People's Front would be happy to step in.

taber said...

@homofascist: "adorable" even? Aw, gee whiz. *blush*

@agent sparks: "Ron Paul the Hologram" would be an incredible title for a graphic novel or something.

mw said...

@freedumb
I'm pretty sure that Ken will hire Jason after Megan fires him.

Megan said...

@freedumb: My vision for the blog was literally: "Huh, maybe it would be a good idea to have one. And then people could write for it. Hey, Jason's funny! He should write. Um, I'm drunk now. Hey, come write!"

mw said...

@megan
So why do you keep his bio there if he is never going to post anything?

You are going to have to learn to be a little more hardass as an editor.

nojo said...

By the way, I'm going to link this here because I'm a thread abuser, and I don't want it to get lost in the pile.

What is it? It's Megan's first lobbyist column. From August 23, 2006.

Point being, I'm getting rather tired of this "ten weeks" crap. As a staff editor, yes. But her work had been a regular feature of the site for more than a year before she removed the mask. It's not like we barely got to know her.

David P said...

Loved the Dominionist piece. Apparently he doesn't care if HFA recruits Jews because, y'know, we're all going to hell anyway.

nojo said...

Great time at CPUSA tonight -- we busted out our threads liveblogging two minutes of election returns into two hours, and totally won the comment race with Brand W! It wasn't even close! Keep hope alive!

Megan said...

@mw: Because he is loved and welcome to write whenever he feels like. I have all the rest of my life to be a hardass. I feel like I should channel Arianna here: post when your dander is up and not when you don't care.

@nojo: Aww, thanks for remembering. I wrote that drunk off my ass. Can you still tell?

Miss Expatria said...

The Gay Mafia will always protect you, darling! Their weapon is wine. It decimates all their frenemies.

Miss Expatria said...

By the way, does this remind you of an anonymous lobbyist we know? ;) Hee hee!

SanFranLefty said...

@ Miss Expatria:

That is AWESOME!

Hipple, Rev. Paul T. said...

Brother homofascist-

The fact that you've discovered my award winning interblog at all suggests to me God does act in Mysterious Ways and that there might exist within you a small nugget of Christian Redemption. I have said a very brief prayer for you just in case.

For if He truly hasn't foresaken you, He is more Granderious than we can possibly imagine.

However, to be quite honest, I suspect this is little more than another one of your gay homosexual ruses.


-RPTH
Award winning interblogger
Weblog Awards Finalist 2007
(multiple categories)

nojo said...

GENERAL FARR HAS RETURNED! CAPSLOCK FOR EVERYONE!

Shannon Sparks said...

Rev. Hipple, you just made my day!Your random capitalizations are subtle, but brilliant...