BITCHING ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY FINAL COLLECTIONS: SWEET P

We start with everyone's favorite hippie biker chick, sweet, sweet Sweet P. To follow along with the fun, go here to view the photos in high resolution (sorry I am not putting all of the images here, but I just don't have the hours). Very early on, it seems that there is some skepticism as to whether Sweet P. is in the running to win. Let's listen in!

Jason: So let's start with Sweet P. What do you think of her collection overall?
Matt: Kinda...eh. It's really all over the place for me. I mean, wildly varied colors and cuts. I've never been the biggest Sweet P. fan.
Jason: I was really surprised - I liked some of the looks a lot. Now that I can see them in high res I love the sparkle fabric on the first couple of looks.
Matt: Sparkle is fun, but it doesn't justify mustard gold and violet. It's very Grandma's cocktail party '71.
Jason: You know I always have liked the grandpa chic though. My penchant for cardigans.
Matt: Yes, but can't justify look #2: pouffy blouse and vest-dress (i.e. VESS) with big gold buttons and tan ankle socks.
Jason: It is a little Charlie and the Chocolate Factory/Munchkin
Matt: Yes, a little Veruca Salt ready for her big day. The look #3 is a more subdued version. She loves that slutty Miss 1969 secretary.
Jason: Can we just get the discussion about the puffy sleeves out the the way now, because otherwise we are going to be spending hours on it for each collection. What the fuck is up with the crazy huge shoulders? Has Christian really started a trend?
Matt: Yes, everyone is doing the puffy Victorian granny sleeves. It's in almost every collection here.
Jason: Very Dynasty.
Matt: Very Dynasty 1901.
Jason: D-Nasty
Matt: Very 'There Will Be Blood: Girls Gone Wild'
Jason: I thought women liked small shoulders. Oh well, at least there weren't tits a la Wendy Pepper Season 1.
Matt: Yeah, Joan Crawford is spinning in her OCD grave, loving it all. Explain the gold dress that follows in Sweet P.'s collection. I don't get it.
Jason: It is very Cruella DeVille on holiday. And the fucking bowler hat!
Matt: That kills it.
Jason: Why? The flower?
Matt: She crawled out of the basement, coz it's all dirty. Heidi will throw a shit fit.
The hat itself is just from another outfit.
Jason: Maybe her hair fell out when she was in the Tresemme Hair Salon?
I don't know, it looks like Christian and Chris dress from the avant garde challenge.
Matt: But dumbed down.
Jason: Well, yeah, more ready to wear. Okay, how about look #4
Matt: Worse. Magenta 1987 plaid jodphur skirt?! The shoes are cute ,I'll give it that.
Jason: I like plaid, but it is very Kristmas in the Kountry. I think we used to have that at a Xmas tree skirt when I was a kid.
Matt: Yeah, plaid is extremely hard to pull off and make it look expensive. And what's with the Boston Strangler gloves?
Jason: She is rocking the leather gloves in this collection. Beats me. They are using ALL of the bluefly.com accessory wall! Okay, I am bored with plaid. #5
Matt: Horrible.
Jason: I HATE this one
Matt: I mean the fit is sooooo off! It is like 2 sizes too big.
Jason: It is bunched up at the bottom!
Matt: Playing dress up in Gramma's closet. Musty as a cellar in there.
Jason: It gives her model man shoulders.
Matt: It's Courtney Love c. '91
Jason: And the hat and the earrings just kill it. Even the shoes look like they are from Payless.
Matt: OK she's sinking like a stone here!
Jason: Okay, #6 then.
Matt: This saves it a bit.
Jason: I really love this look. The color is great, the details are nice.
Matt: It's prettier/girlier, but...a bit home-sewn looking. It's a bit senior class project in Home Ec. I'm also not a fan of the golden end of the spectrum, but it is nice compared to the others. A bit simpler.
Jason: Eh. I like it. Plus no tacky accessories or hats.
Matt: The next one...you see, I don’t get her direction.
A wool dress with leg warmers?
Jason: Yeah, #6 is a bit Maurice's at the Village Mall.
Matt: It's a bit J. Crew couture.
Jason: Lower class than that
Matt: And there's no other second look like it; why is it here Sweet P?! It's aiming for Talbots Atelier.
Jason: Okay, #7 I have been waiting for. And I stand corrected, there are titties.
Matt: Hot, but that plaid! Ugh, it's killing me.
Jason: Oh, I though you would hate that one. Again, I like the grandpa pants. But it seems very jumbled.
Matt: That's something Jillian would show up wearing in the workroom.
Jason: So true!
Matt: The top and the bottom are soft meets hard, or flighty meets work-a-day. THUD.
Jason: Okay #8
Matt: This is fun! The gloves are distracting me. They’re so heavy with a flirty dress
Jason: Yeah. Like she is going to go chop firewood. Not sure it fits in, but I like the print.
Matt: It grows on me; first it seemed to ugly 70s... drapes or something. I like the black elements in it. Cool tights.
Jason: It looks like something Uli would have made in 5 minutes.
Matt: Yeah, but you know it took SP like a week and a half.
Jason: Okay, we will skip over Sweet P's pic and go to the....black & white thing. Again, WTF?
Matt: I kinda like the black and white, it’s a bit simple. But it's like the ONLY B&W, like the only Chico's wool dress.
Jason: I don't know. It just seems like a basic, boring look.
Matt: Yeah. And we end SP with "basic" and "boring"; yikes.
Jason: And the hat is very velvet painting, porcelain white skin, bright red lipstick
Matt: Rio/Duran Duran. Oh, I spoke too soon; there's Willy Wonka on the next page. Meets When Doves Cry.
Jason: That one works for me more than some of the others, although I feel like it is a page out of Christians playbook.
Matt: Yeah, a bit of a steal but its a nice look.
Jason: Even the hat goes with that one. The ONLY one where the hat works.
Matt: Yes. And no-shoveling-the-car-out gloves.
Jason: So, what do you think? We Sweet P one of the final 3, or a ringer?
Matt: She was like #4 or 5. Srrri.
Jason: Yeah. Her collection looks like Bravo called her 3 weeks ago and was like "Oh shit, we need you to show."
Matt: Yeah, or that she runs a good women's vintage clothing shop.
Jason: I think she has a future there.
Matt: And I wanted her to be a lesbian.
Jason: Instead of a big old hippie
Matt: Hippie meets faux-biker
Jason: Okay, you done with Sweet P?
Matt: Weeks ago.